First of all, it was an awesome cup with epic games and epic performances. There were some excellent goalkeeping, goals to behold, goals that made you scratch your head, decisions that drove the nuts, refs that looked in the bag for one team or the other, results that were elating and just, results that were utterly depressingm, etc … it had everything you want in a cup … sometimes dialed up to goddamn 11.
One of the best that I've seen as far as the games are concerned.
Now the rant:
1. "Hydration Breaks" wink wink. I hate this. I hate it with a passion. It is not only a blatant ploy to impose a quarter system on the game to sell more of god knows what else David Beckham wants you to buy, but more than an esthetic choice, it is very detrimental to the game. Soccer is not an easy sport. It takes a while to get some momentum going. Teams work hard to get to the point where things are finally clicking for them. And just as you can see a team finally playing like they've synced up, the network/FIFA mandated "hydration break" kicks in and the next thing you know the momentum is broken and it's now the other team who's taken over because they had the chance to regroup. THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR FUTBOL. It's a f*cking abomination. I want to see the stats on how momentum of the game was artificially shifted after "hydration break".
Sure, if it is really hot and humid and the conditions require a break, go for it. But (a) this doesn't have to happen at exactly the 22nd minute mark (demanded by network profits), (b) it doesn't have to happen every game, regardless of what the temperature actually is and whether it's a day game or a night game, and (c) AFAIK, every player is constantly monitored on the field. There's real time data that I'm aassuming could be used to guide a sideline referee to call for a break with only the health of the players in mind not tv commercials. (For the record, I also get ticked off at what's known as "network timeout" in American sports, but we've all been housebroken on that count. We stopped thinking that we deserve better if the might dollar says otherwise.)
I can't emphasize this enough: THIS SH*T HAS TO GO.
2. Halftime show? I think I said enough about this yesterday. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. This is a vile attack on the sport as a whole. It's a cultural imposition that stems from a sport viewing tradition that does not vibe well with soccer. Fans in the stand don't need to be entertained constantly. Let them turn to the person sitting next to them and talk about what the team needs to do next. LET PEOPLE TALK TO ONE ANOTHER. Or check their phones or whatever. You don't have to command their attention all the time. If they're going to get bored during the 15 min break in the action, let'em. It'll only raise the anticipation for the second half.
3. Trump. F*ck'im. He inserted himself twice in the cup. The first time cost the US team its concentration in the game and goodwill among the fans. The second time he exposed himself as the senile attention whore that he is. Enough already. You don't get to sully every goddamn thing we enjoy just because daddy was a maniacal brute and mommy never hugged you as a kid. (As a footnote, this may be one of the underappreciated factors in his 2020 loss. People get tired of seeing him on everything all the time, which has just jacked up an order of magnitude since 2025).
4. Yeah, we can now say with confidence that FIFA pushed Argentina to win the whole thing because in their minds the Messi storyline was way too tempting. Keep in mind that promoting Messi is not just good for soccer as a whole, but it is also a way to prop up MLS in the world's eyes by proxy. Or at least I think that's part of Infantino's calculus. He looks at the world and how much money the sport makes. Then he looks at how much more cash he can make from the US and his eyes turn into dollar signs like a cartoon character.
Maybe it's time to blow up FIFA and create a new organization.
Egypt was jobbed.
5. African teams. I don't know if I did this rant before. My apologies if this is a repeat, but I think every African team (or almost every) in this tournament conceded devastating last minute goals to get eliminated. Now … I love African football because (a) there are some really great players on those teams and a lot of them play an exciting form of the game, and (b) forgodssakes, we need Africa to do better to break the duopoly on the game (the same goes for Asian teams, btw). But, guys, the game isn't over until the whistle blows. As a whole, as a whole continent maybe, you need to stay focused and not relax as the game starts winding down, especially if you're ahead. African teams need to learn how to play with a lead and close out the game. Morocco is mostly an exception to this generalization, by the way.
6. The way the Iran team was treated was atrocious. If you have a problem with teams and athletes from a particular nation to camp on your soil, then don't host the event. It's as simple as that. Infantino screwed the pooch on this one and that alone is the reason (never mind the Balogun and Ronaldo decisions) to get him ousted, or as I'm hoping to see, dismantle FIFA and build a new organization to take its place.
7. A World Cup is not where you institute new rules for the game before you test them out on the field before the big event. I don't want to hear what was or wasn't the spirit of the rule from announcers all the time because FIFA decided to simply spring new rules on the games without road testing them first and giving teams enough time to absorb their implementation in real situations.
8. Fouls: I don't think I understand anymore what's a foul and what's not. The only rational explanation to the kinds of sh*t players kept doing on the field and got away with is that somewhere in the rulebook, there is a section about which teams are allowed to get away with stuff that others don't. I'm serious. If you thought handball rules were confusing and off-sides rules were kinda overdoing a good thing, the definition of what constitutes a foul (especially in front of the goal on a corned kick, or all the physical tackling) was completely baffling to me and went against a lot of things I thought I knew about the game (maybe it's Premiere League thing, I dunno).
9. Announcers for the US broadcast. I know I've done this rant before but this colonialist rah rah attitude and constantly waxing poetic about every player who also happens to play in the Premiere League needs to stop. You are broadcasting in the US, not England. We don't care what accent you have. Be professionals.
Also, Thierry Henry is great but Zlatan rulz! Absolument!
10. Sidenote for my linguistic curiosity: I believe lamineyamal is also being harrykaned. Announcers referred to him as "Yamal" only once in the game. Otherwise, it was constantly "yaminelamal". I assumed with harrykane , that there may be some restriction in English prosody against monosyllabic last names being used in isolation (phonology kinda works that way -- there are often restrictions that speakers look for ways to work around), and yeah yeah, Lamal is not actually his last name, but still. This is just a weird quirky thing in announcerspeak that completely puzzles me. You can bet that I have my ears pricked for this pattern from now on.
So I believe that's about all my rants at this point. This was great. AS the saying goes, futbol is life, which means it can be as devastating and random as it can be joyful and fulfilling. That's why we love the game.
Looking forward to the next one, and I'm saying it right now: I can't wait for a Spain - Morocco match either in the semi-finals or at the final game. It'll be an awesome cross-strait derby.
(Coming back to one of my early rants: the 48 team field did not turn out to be as bad as I was afraid it would turn out to be. That "which third place team will be allowed to go to the next round drama was interesting -- shout out to Iran. We see you. We respect you. Your team didn't deserve any of the sh*t our psychotic government imposed on you.)